It all, always, comes down to “cool”.
Speaking with a colleague about powerful men, we mused about their social awkwardness. These men control the world. The have successful companies. Their latest greatest device with rings, dings, tweets or gongs every five minutes. These men are the local version of Bill Gates. And sadly, and without judgment, you could call a lot of them nerds. Or, more to the point, ex-nerds. They did the ultimate high school bully payback and became successful. And who knows where the bullies are, but it’s pretty obvious they aren’t running competing businesses. But the question has to be asked, does anyone ever actually grow out of being a nerd? And if you DO successfully escape the common definition of nerd-dom, does a person ever fully recover from being classified as a nerd early in life?
I read an article the other day about twenty-something millionaires who had made all their money in online poker games. Financial security really doesn’t register with them, since in the article they pointed out that they really think of the thousands of dollars gained and lost as a point system. But one thing they DID specifically mention was that these guys were hiring people to help them acclimate to the world…more to the point, the OUTSIDE world. Sure they have made more money than I really have any hope of seeing in my lifetime, but they couldn’t go to a bar and strike up a conversation. And girls? No hope. I know it. You know it. They know it.
In the end, I think, in a very over-simplified world, it all comes down to the universal quest of being cool. We all want to be the cool kid. And money and power and fame and success are great, but can money buy “cool”?
At a club the other night I had given up trying to maneuver around the insanely crowded sweaty dance floor. Unable to move with the camera bag and camera, I resigned myself to waiting in one spot, near a cool breeze (no pun intended), and snagging people walking by, which was working since the entire population of St. Louis was there that night. The woman in front of me dancing with, who I can only hope was, her boyfriend bent at the waist, put her hand on the floor (the other one was holding a drink) and ground against that boy’s crotch until I think they almost started a fire. By the time she righted herself her tight skirt had raised a dangerous few inches, her hair was messed and I’m pretty sure she was dizzy, but I bet that guy thought she was a damn cool chick.
Another girl walked by wearing, what I (again) can only hope were very tight, very short shorts. I say this because her shorts strongly resembled the panties I was wearing under my somewhat baggy jeans. Coupled with a babydoll t and slouchy boots she was definitely showing her assets. That chick was definitely thought of as cool…or at least fashionably daring.
A few weeks ago at a different club, I photographed a girl wearing, no joke, a BRA and a skirt. Did I just enter a Seinfeld episode? I don’t mean that my inner girl cattiness rose up and thought “Oh my god, what is that girl wearing? A bra?” No, I mean, I OWN this bra. I have this exact same bra in a drawer in my dresser. This girl was ABSOLUTELY wearing a bra! Again, this had to be a quest for cool.
As I was leaving the club this weekend someone handed me a card and explained that if I text them before I come, they can assure a swift entrance without having to wait. I like to think this is the result of several factors; I always say I’m shooting for someone and photos always appear there. (I’m honest.) I’ve never abused my access to the club by drinking and/or becoming noticeably intoxicated and causing problems. (I’m responsible.) I take flattering photos of patrons having a good time. (I’m talented.) But as I left, slipping the card into my back pocket the first thought that I had was imagining a conversation where someone asked him: “Hey, who was that?” and he responded with “She’s a photographer. Shoots nightlife. That girl is cool as shit.” Yep, I might be honest, responsible and talented but overall I hope I’m regarded as cool.
Why are people in the Midwest, home of The Dress Barn, dressing like rejected cast members of The Jersey Shore? Cause it’s cool. Why do dance floors scream and jump when LMFAO’s “Shots” come on? Cause it’s cool. Why do people do shots at all? Cause it’s cool!
Cool is a currency all on its own.
My photos… Are you being seen in the right places? Are you being seen in the wrong places? Is the photo seen in a reputable place? Is the photo good? Is the photo bad? “Can we do that again? Can we switch places? This is my good side. Wait, let me get some lipstick. Why are you smiling like that? Smile normal. Hang on….are my boobs ok? Check my teeth, are they good? Ok…NOW you can take a picture. (click) Wait. One more……” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard variations of this exact same conversation. Everyone and I do mean everyone, is entitled to a good photograph, and I try and do the best I can, but let’s face it, you just want to look cool. You want to look like you are someone somewhere that other people want to be like and be near. You want to look cool.
So this brings up another question: Is everyone on a quest for cool because in actuality everyone feels insecure and like they need to be regarded as cool or are some people actually just self-aware that they are cool and don’t need to work on it anymore?
I once heard that one of the reasons Madonna was so successful in her career was because she kept reinventing herself. In other words, she was working to stay on the cutting edge of cool. Movie stars sweat over what to wear to high profile events because they know they are either going to be applauded for their choices (cool), maligned for their choices (not cool) or fall into the middle of the road and ignored (who is that?). People and places throw parties and events and try to attract the “right” crowd. Is “the right crowd” just another word for the cool kids?
So what is the ultimate reward for being cool? Being sought after, copied, invited, wooed and admired? I suppose if you play your Cool Cards right you could parlay that into a career or money or notoriety. I wouldn’t really know. To be honest, I am about as far from cool as you can get and still function without having to hire an acclimation coach. My buck teeth and freckles were instant rejections from the Cool Kids Table. So, yes, I strive to be regarded as cool. But I also know that I’m not.
So, what are the answers to these questions? Well, let’s recap: former nerds who own globally successful companies want to be cool. New millionaire poker prodigies want to be cool. Movie stars, music icons, and the celebrity world, in general, REQUIRE cool. The people who go to bars and clubs, in a mass generalization, want to be thought of as cool and be seen being cool (including formerly buck-toothed photographers). And I’m almost sure even the people I don’t see in my job, like the kids playing video games instead of clubbing, the truckers crossing the country with their CB radios and the parents getting together at PTA meetings, want to be regarded as cool in the circles they run amongst. So, basically, universally, EVERYONE wants to look cool and NO ONE is sure they are.
Huh.
So, either we are ALL cool or we are ALL nerds.
I think it’s true; we never really do graduate high school.